Under Seige

I am besieged . Pressured by the world into this dark corner from which I want not out. But someone help me, please.. my soul is dying. 

Iam besieged by loathing and hatred. And the frightening primitive law of survival of the fittest, that primeval craft a finer art now, honed to its most modern to fit into the world order of today, with newer ways to suit better the present way of life and the present system we call the modern developed world. I imagine I had a better chance then, when ages ago humanity (!) was still at a more primitive stage, perhaps even when barbarian. Only the weapons and the means have changed. The clothes are different. The languages spoken are different. Technologies make everything more global. We have the capabilities to strike more fatally today, strike harder, faster and further and engage larger targets. We are still the same. Apes and barbarians with a different language, a different sense of dress. Now we can do more comfortably and in a more organised manner and with better resources the very things we did back then. The dimensions have grown, we have our Systems, our Governments and our greedily consumed resources to aid our primate ways.

There is, in our Barbarian hands now, a very Primitive technology  as a machine gun in the hands of an enterprising, clever monkey. All the rest gathered around would look in awe and clap their hands in raucus glee at the few shots fired into distant tree. The sight of the slick, formidable and alien looking weapon. The heroic wielder of the gun. The awe inspiring sound of the shots. The amazing smell of gunpowder. The effect upon the tree. And the possibilities! Mesmerizing.

Not an eyebrow raised. Not a voice in the crowd shouting no ! when … Some such apes gather together and to ‘find out’  if there is water on a moon, BOMB IT. Clapping all around at the awesome deed done! At the ‘discovery’ of water!  No thought that there might be, perhaps thriving, perhaps hopeful, the last brave remnants of life where there is water… ! Give me a guarantee there isn’t and the right to sue you into oblivion if you are wrong!

Oh , but I drift! I am under seige, so help me please. Cornered by deceit and betrayal and lies. Corruption of all nature chokes me. I cannot hold against the rush anymore. The pushing and shoving. And blaspheming? No! that is just old granma’s talk. In a world where truth is about scientific fact, God is only wild theory right now. And don’t look amazed, there is no billions of dollars of research going anywhere in THAT direction. That kind of money only goes into POSSIBILITIES that are useful to mankind!

Someone help please. I’m beseiged by this organized mayhem and chaos. I am a misfit in a world where such hunger. Forgive me that I cannot eat dog. That, I refuse to do. But I am at my wit’s end now. Having fallen so far, I dare not fall further for fear that I am now closer to the dark, closer to that deep from whence rise these siver springs powered by the design of the that once Archangel who reaps of us now just as he has sown. Shall he win ? Shall Chaos rule here on Earth, too? Is there anyone left that has not been moulded in the design of the Fallen Ones? The harvest is rich I’m sure. I dream the fallen Archangel smiles his wry smile and laughs in the face of Him in whom we chose not to believe.  

And so I despair. My soul is under seige. It hath no place to go if ye God should defeat.

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